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ME POWAIKAR October 2019

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Marriages are really made in heaven​

I have always been fascinated by destiny and the strange ways in which it moves; like the tides or the change of seasons, something that we could never alter. People destined to meet will do so, apparently by chance but I know for sure it is destiny at play here that brings them together, at precisely the right moment. Let me validate this with the help of a true story narration.

Sanya was a marine engineering student and Ranbir’s Dad was the Provost of the institute. Despite living in the same campus, attending common functions and breathing the same air, they had never set eyes on each other. So here’s Ranbir working with a shipping company for over 5 years when one of his friends invited him to her wedding to Lucknow. Sanya had just completed her first sailing and was also to attend the wedding but well.. destiny had not planned it yet so the story goes that our main lead remained unaware of each other’s existence.

Then another friend mediated and asked Sanya to see Ranbir because she felt though they were very different yet alike. But both were not interested for a plethora of personal reasons. A year went by and life whizzed past. Soon Sanya was back in Mumbai for the 4th engineer courses. The month is Jan 2017. She’s staying with friends for her exams. Once again their friends conspire to get them meet up at a common venue. After much hemming and hawing and with much awkwardness, Ranbir finally meets Sanya who had no clue that Ranbir would be at the party. At first glance itself, our intuitive girl felt a glow that warmed her up from deep within her heart. She had never felt something like this ever. Within minutes, they were talking animatedly and got so lost in each other that they forgot their surroundings. She hung on to his every word, gazing at him adoringly as he spoke. She felt it in her bones, this was meant to be. The engineer in her succinctly phrased it, ‘it felt so right like 2 gears coupled together and meshed perfectly’.

When you encounter someone you were destined to meet, the conversation will take flight as if it were on the wings of an angel, complete strangers confiding in each other as if they were lifelong friends. They spoke for 2 whole hours and decided rightaway to cement the relationship as neither wanted a dating affair. Everyone felt this rash decision is a phase that will soon fizzle out. But they proved everyone wrong. They met daily maintaining a low profile for 3 months and then the parents were informed. Considering their diverse upbringing; a fauji brat versus a civilian, Ranbir’s Mom felt they need to get to know each other better for they had no common ground. Sanya sails the high seas while Ranbir holds a shore job. In essence she’d be off to work, away for months while he would have to be a stay-home husband. She’ll probably make more money than him making him feel inferior, etc. Traditionally, the role of the homemaker is associated with a woman and the male is the breadwinner. This case would be a complete reversal of roles. The lines between specific domains are getting blurred in today’s India but families find it difficult to endorse and value men's and women's equal and shared family roles. So they decided to give it time and she went back to sea but the anxiety of separation pangs tormented her. So they convinced the families and got married. So dear readers, does their story end here, ‘and they lived happily ever after’? Read on how destiny struck again.
A family exigency in addition to the changed equations post marriage caused much stress and added pressures. A life altering experience rattled her and Sanya had to quit her passion for sailing. But God opens doors and shows a path to a believer of destiny. Sanya had graduated from a girl friend to a wife. This new role made her take a major decision and opt for a shore job, literally applying for it on the last day but luck favoured her. And she was soon working and able to spend time with her sweetheart. The culture on a ship is poles apart from an office job but Sanya handled it pretty well, breezing through.

Ranbir is an amazing young man that I hold out as an exemplary model to many youngsters. He started working as a trainee while still studying. Fed up of paying rents to fatten the wallets of apartment owners, he bought his own house as a 24 year old, furnished it and followed it up with a car because it made sense to him economically. This thought process according to him comes from the discipline instilled when he was growing up.

Couples, whose gender roles have been reversed, deal with work-life balance, equality, intimacy and their sense of identity quite well. At the forefront of social change, these couples are pushing boundaries and exploring new frontiers.

There have been ups n downs in their relationship but unlike couples of today, our lead pair remains committed and love-struck. Soon they’ll celebrate their 2nd wedding anniversary. My blessing to them, ‘may destiny braid your souls with eternal ribbons of love’